Why I decided to give up loneliness and lean in
Updated: Feb 28
What can I say? I feel lonely sometimes. I've told this to friends before, and it's always followed up by surprise. "Celene you're so outgoing" or "Celene you are always with people". Here is the thing though, being an extrovert or always on the road working with people doesn't bring community. Truth is I'm lonely, and I am ready to lean in and make connections with people in my community.
Welcome to the Blonde Boss Blog!
If you don't know me my name is Celene Dupuis. I am an international Redken Artist who specializes in lived in blondes and color correction. I have a program called Make your Mark where beauty meets branding, that helps stylists everywhere find their their dream clientele so that they can love what they do and make money doing it. I also am a salon owner who is cultivating a culture where hairstylists can earn amazing amounts of money AND have a work life balance.
On the personal side I am a wife, mother and advocate. My life has not always thrown kindness my way, and I have learned that despite the hand your dealt, your attitude and willingness to keep trying will carry you through anything - but more on that stuff on a later day!
What is community and why do you need it?
The idea behind community sounds pretty good. It's defined as a group of people having a particular interest in common. A feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing
common attitudes, interests, and goals. Ya, ya we all own a smart phone and can look that one up, but why do so many people shy away and hide from creating these types of relationships?
For me, it came from living in a small city, and wanting to stay out of the drama. I mean in the salon industry typically we are pitted against each other, fighting for staff, and fighting for clients. Before my salon even opened I was internet bullied, and threatened with physical harm. People not knowing me or my story were told false rumours posted online by someone who obtained the rights to a name too close to mine illegally and slandered me. People were sending me private messages saying they were going to harm me and my staff. I followed all the legal matters, and I won the rights to the name as this business was operating from a home illegally without a licence or a tax number - even though I was in the right this was before I even opened my doors and the effects were devastating. I was raised to believe that the only person you are in competition with is yourself. I just hadn't found a community of people who were living that. So I avoided everyone, but in the end I lost out.
So what's the big deal - and why do you really need community anyway?
It keeps you accountable. I mean think about it, if you are never around other people doing amazing things, how will you ever make sure you are always pushing to the next level. It's normal to achieve a little bit of success and then get comfy and coast. We see it all the time in stylists who get "stuck". Like attracts like - and we need people to push us, keep us accountable to be better than we are and inspire us to reach new heights.
We need support! Being a boss babe is so hard! So is being a hairstylist. We literally take on the energy of every single client who sits in our chair - and that can weigh on us after a while. Being a boss is hard, it's like having 10 kids, they all want something from you, even though you are trying your hardest and doing your best you always feel like you are not good enough. We need people in our corner to cheer us on. Lift us up and tell us that we got this!
It keeps us creative! I mean come on, life gets boring quick for us creatives. We need to be surrounded by other amazing artists and people so our creativity an flow and we can get out of that rut and get going! I can't tell you how amazing it's been connecting with a few local business owners in my city. The mixture of all of us together is pure gold and that gold will burst rushing out like a damn breaking! Look out world you're about to be splashed with gold sparkle hairstylist dust!
How you can get back on track.
I've been really looking into the disadvantages of losing or not having a community to be a part of. It really can be harming your business. If you think about it we are all creatives, and our work is better when we are inspired. When we lose our creativity we get bored, unmotivated and our work often suffers. Not only that if you are a boss babe and this happens, connecting with your staff can be difficult. Creating meaningful connections can be challenging most days, but image trying to do that with a staff when you yourself have no excitement, which leads to an unmotivated work place - and that is bad for everyone.
So I have poured out my heart, told you how lonely I have been which is great - but what am I doing about it? Well I actually got over my damn self - and took some other amazing boss babes up on their offer to let me into their community. You know what? It feels good! When you use your strengths to help others rise something most unexpected happens - you end up rising even higher than the rest! So get ready cause here is what you need to do! First of all you need to find people in your corner who understands not only your industry but the demands of running a business of creatives, and the commitment and dedication it takes. I don't have very many people in my life who are truly passionate about what they do for a living, and although there are other jobs out there that are amazing and great - when your work is your passion magic truly happens.
So go find your people - and talk to them! Sounds easy right - not always! It can be hard putting yourself out there. Ask them to collaborate, invite them for a drink. Because the universe put me together with these amazing new friends in my neck of the woods within a few weeks we are texting almost every day - connecting over common ground, and challenges, and feelings. You know what? We all feel like we could be more, or could give more. By creating these meaningful connections I have actually been so inspired to do more, and be more!
You are who you hang out with - and boy my mom was right! Find successful like minded
people and just make it a point. I promise when you do your life will begin to change. When you find people who lift you up you will be more inspired, you will have a fuller life - and you'll be able to keep your cup full so you can take care of all those amazing guests that come into your salon and really need you.
So cheers to new friendships, and creating meaningful connections. Let's let go of past hurt and experiences and chose to lean in! I can't wait to connect with you all, and I want this community to bring joy, and inspiration and fulfillment!
Share below in the comments who you are, and what area's of your life you could benefit from community in - I want to get to know you better - until next time babes!
WANT TO JOIN OUR COMMUNITY? Click the picture below and head over to our facebook community group BLONDE BOSS the community. Here we share ideas, inspiration and everything beyond the hair so you can start building instant connections with other like minded boys babes (yes you boss boyz are included too)!